Bullying, Part Five: How Can Victims Help Themselves?

This is part five of a six-part series on bullying. Read part one,  or  here.  discussed how parents and teachers can help those that are being bullied. Here's how you can help yourself, or tips for you to share with your children and students.

Drama. Bullying. Teasing. Harassment. No matter what you call it, it hurts. If you are being bullied or harassed, there are things you can do about it, to make it stop and to bring control back to your life.

Being Bullied? How You Can Help Yourself 

Check out this list of tips from kidshealth.org about bullying. Their list includes suggestions to ignore the bully and walk away and take charge of your life. 

Walk with Awareness, Calm, and Confidence. People are less likely to be picked on if they walk and sit with confidence. 

Set a Boundary. If a bully is following or threatening you in a situation in which you cannot just leave, you need to be able to set a clear boundary.

Travel in Groups – It can be more difficult to face a bully alone.

Be Calm and Direct

Use Your Voice.  

Assert Your Rights.

ONLY Use Physical Self-Defense as a Last Resort.

Please, remember that being a victim of bullying and harassment is NOT your fault. Having bad things happen to you is not your fault. Nothing about what you say, the way you look, or what you believe gives anyone the right to hurt you. Talk to your parents, your teachers, a counselor at school, maybe even a trustworthy friend, to get help in getting out of an on-going situation. If you are having difficulty finding help, call the National Crime Victim Helpline at 1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255) for free, confidential assistance, information, and referrals to local resources.

Maybe you're not being bullied, but you see other people around you being bullied. Maybe you simply know a bully. There is something you can do about that, too, and it's called Rachel's Challenge. Rachel Scott was the first student killed at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999. Her friends and family remember her as kind, compassionate, and motivated to right any wrong she saw happening to another person. After her death, on the bottom of a piece of furniture found in her room where she had traced her hands and written,"These hands belong to Rachel Joy Scott and will some day touch millions of people's hearts." She certainly has, too. Rachel was awarded the Acts of Kindness Association 2001 National Kindness Award for Student of the Year.

I'm aware that she was a different person than you are, but as her legacy left behind, the challenge is to start a chain reaction of kindness. A quote in an essay she'd written about her own ethics, her "code of life," is what has inspired this challenge.

"I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion then it will start a chain reaction of the same."- Rachel Scott

And so, the challenge is to "inspire, equip and empower every person to create a permanent positive culture change in their school, business and community by starting a chain reaction of kindness and compassion."

If you'd like additional information on teenage bullying, a special report is available to order here. It is a free 44 page report that may help to understand why and how bullying happens, signs and forms of bullying, peer pressure and bullycidehow teens may make amends when an offense has occurred, and suggestions for teens who may need special help.

Part six discusses what will happen if bullying doesn't come to an end, gives startling statistics, and provides a suggestion of a specific program to implement in your school to ease the transition of a true anti-bullying policy.