Table Talk: Crop Circles, Beer and Chicken Wings

"My wife threatened to strangle me if I mention anything about that."

I was taught by my parents to never discuss religion or politics at a dinner party.  When I got married, my wife added to the list.  Now I cannot discuss religion, politics or UFO's at any social function we attend.  It's probably best.  Controversial subjects can end up ruining a perfectly good evening.

Oh, and since 2012 is coming, I have to refrain from discussing the possible Apocalypse and the Mayan calendar.

Then there are the FEMA camps and the NWO concerns I have.  Those two things can't be brought up either.  And don't get me started on how we never really landed on the moon the first time around!  My wife threatened to strangle me if I mention anything about that.

Crop circles aside, it's always tricky to be a conspiracy theorist who has to attend normal social functions.  I don't have much to say and I feel like I really have to make sure not to embarass my wife and myself. Besides the men in black might be listening in and who wants to have to deal with that?  They aren't very nice I've heard. 

So if anyone has any ideas of what a safe dinner topic is, just let me know.  I need to brush up on normalcy.

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Christy Martin September 20, 2011 at 05:38 PM
I can't say I blame your wife for encouraging you to sound not so, um, well, eccentric. Ha! Even though this can get a bit controversial as well, I think Sports or current (non political) events may be a safer bet? Just read some of the headlines out there, start a conversation on that, and you'll look perfectly normal.
Jim Frain September 21, 2011 at 04:50 PM
I suggest talking about how great the house looks, that you mention that her hair has never looked better and that her meals are unmatched by any wife in O'Fallon.
Heidi L. October 06, 2011 at 08:45 PM
I'm with Mr. Frain on this one!


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