No Laughing Matter

Recently I was at a meeting of faith community leaders and the presenter of a report spoke about the “ministry readiness exam” that new admits to ministry have to take. As the exam and the issue people have taking the exam was spoken of those in attendance broke out into laughter.

I was stunned.

A statement  to the effect of, “We just want to know what kind of crazy you are” is what generated the beginning of the laughter. Of those sitting near me there were several comments made, jokes bouncing around and a few numb faces. I was mortified.

I realize that sometimes we laugh about that which makes us uncomfortable and that we make joking comments to cover our own uneasiness--or to possibly put others at ease--with a subject.  I joke a lot—I get it.

But mental wellness is no laughing matter.

Maybe I am super sensitive because my own family has members who have struggled with a scale of depression diagnosis. My own child attempted suicide while in high school following the gruesome suicide of her very good friend. From visiting way too many people on the psych floor of the hospital to the suicide of members of our Celebrate Recovery group my sense of compassion is huge and my sensitivity is high.

Mental wellness is no laughing matter.

Faith leaders are in position to talk positively about mental wellness. When we perpetuate the stigma associated with mental health care we neutralize the hope and the power of information that needs to infiltrate the faith community. 

I’ve come to understand mental health care as part of a holistic approach to overall strength and wellness. Being created in the image and likeness of God we, too, are tri-union~ish—we have an eternal (soul), a spirit (personality/emotions) and flesh (includes our brain and its functioning). 

As a clergy person I can help folks with their soul issues—issues of theology and theodicy. I can help folks process the spiritual impact of behaviors and the impact of the Spirit on our lives—the evidence of God’s presence, a larger sense of meaning and purpose. That’s my role.

A therapist can help folks with their spirit (personality, emotions). We sometimes need help processing events of our past and the impact the past has on the present. The therapist can help us develop action plans, coping skills, gain confidence in self and self-expression.

A psychiatrist is for the physical aspect of our being. Sometimes the physiological functions of our brain do not work right or the stresses of life have caused a malfunction of some sort. Sometimes a tiny little pill can bring our physical being back into balance.  This is a physical issue, not a spiritual issue and not an issue of one’s will or intention. In other words, we can’t cast this out or just get it together—we need help.

Holistic treatment is essential to achieve mental wellness. 

Faith leaders must work diligently to reduce the stigma associated with mental health through our own education and through our personal presentation.
We must educate ourselves about the differences between situational depression and chronic/clinical depression. We must know how to talk to people with mental health conditions and build a trusted referral system for our community. We must know how to support a family in crisis, how to recognize a mental health issue and how to respond. There’s likely a lot more we also should know…..

Faith leaders must stop laughing at jokes made about mental health issues and those needing mental health care and we must challenge each other to be sensitive and compassionate publically and privately. As I sat in that meeting looking around, seeing the numbness on faces, some of whom I know have struggled themselves, I felt like I was melting away.

How will people trust us privately when we laugh at them publically?

Laughing at mental health is like laughing at a person who is blind. “Bwahahaha!! You were born blind and just bumped into that door!” or, “ Hahahahaha you had a tragedy that has taken your sight and you can’t see what’s in front of your face!”  Oh, we’d  never, ever do that! But yet we laugh at mental conditions as if it were something that someone did to themselves for attention or to spite someone else. This just has to stop.

Mental wellness is no laughing matter.

I spoke up to a couple of the leaders who were sitting near me laughing and joking at that meeting. These two justified their jokes as just messing with each other and were totally unaware of how those sitting around them may have been impacted by their comments to each other. I didn’t back down with my challenge, they were uncomfortable and I was too. Faith leaders, in particular, must be sensitive and aware.

At some point I realized that the intensity I directed their way was really what I wanted to say to the larger body—I backed off and resolved to write this blog. This week there was a tragedy in Macon, GA—a pastor committed suicide after church. As I perused Face Book I saw lots of empathetic and passionate comments—even some from those who were joking at that meeting.

How many people have to die before we realize mental wellness is no laughing matter? How close to home does suicide or homicide or pedophilia or narcissism or depression or compulsive disorders have to hit before we realize mental wellness is no laughing matter?  

From the pulpit to the pew people are struggling in silent shame.  Shamed into believing that mental illness is 'their' fault and mental health is not ‘our’ issue.
Our words must speak life and healing and hope—blessings and curses cannot proceed from our tongue. We must weep with those who weep. We must be the extension of Jesus’ mercy and compassion.  We must empower and encourage our community toward holistic healing and we must do more than rebuke the spirit of shame—we must stop perpetuating it by our actions, words, laughter, silence and inactions.

Mental wellness is no laughing matter.

 www.renitamarie.com