What can be better than watching your child play in a youth sport? It’s a special time in the lives of you and your child that should be cherished. The problem is this magical experience is getting ruined by parents in the stands. This week we’ll discuss five rules for parental support from the stands.
In my ten years of coaching I have seen and heard about almost anything you can think of when it comes parental behavior. I’ve broken up fights, witnessed verbal abuse, and have seen the impact it has on kids. Before coaching, I was a referee for youth basketball for several years and again witnessed horrendous behavior by adults in the stands. This needs to change, as it is tarnishing the innocence and splendor of youth sports.
Parents, the games are about the kids, not you. Be a proud parent, not an obnoxious one. Support your child without overwhelming them. Give them some breathing room to be a kid and enjoy the experience. Here are five guidelines to follow as a parent in the stands.
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1) Don’t coach from the stands. Be seen and heard only shouting or cheering positive words. Your child doesn’t need you to coach from the stands; they already have one on the bench. Smile at your child during the game. You’d be surprised what a smile and simple nod of approval will do for your son or daughter’s esteem. Parents must trust the coach and allow him or her to do the job at hand. They don’t need your help from the stands during game. If you don’t trust the coach, it’s time to find another team.
2) Don’t belittle other players or the officials. No parent would stand for another adult calling out or criticizing their child. This is how many fights start in the stands. So let’s just avoid this altogether and stop critiquing other people’s children. After all, they’re just kids, not professionals. As for officials, the vast majority of them are in it for the right reasons. They love the sport and want to give back while making a little bit of money. I know from firsthand experience as a youth official how awful parents can be in the stands. Officials will miss calls– they are human– so don’t work yourself up into a frenzy arguing calls the entire game; it’s embarrassing for your child. When was the last time a call was overturned because of some parent’s complaint during the game? I don’t remember one either.