A Back Smacker From Way Back

I'm not sure exactly when I developed my latest bad habit.  Mind you, I'm not proud to admit this, just like I'm not proud to be a fingernail biter. I also have a bad habit of eating something sweet before bedtime. My other flaw, which I've had since birth, is that I like to dig my hand under the pillow of the person sleeping next to me. 

At some point in my life, however, I've become a back slapper. Just out of the blue, I will come up to a friend, a co-worker, just about anyone, and give them a good hearty slap on the back, as if to say, "How are you, my friend?" Or, "Take it easy, amigo!"

It's not always just one smack between the shoulders.  No, sometimes it's two quick pats.  This usually is reserved for friends, although recently I did give my boss a double back smack before leaving for the day.  Outside in the parking lot, it dawned on me.  Did I just slap my boss on the back?  Twice? 

Thing Two brought my bad habit to my attention recently when I gave him a smack on his sunburned back.  

"DAD YEE OUCH OH OUCH!" he said, dancing around with his eyes all squinty. "That was my sunburn you smacked!"

I actually felt bad about it, but more than that, I was surprised to learn that I was a back smacker.  Back smackers are usually loud, boisterous people with out of control manners and boorish behavior, not quiet, mouse-like people like me.

I don't know how to control it, either.  Every time I catch myself smacking someone on the back, I tell myself I'm not going to do it again. It's just how I say hello or goodbye.  It's just my way.  But I realize not everyone appreciates a hearty back smack.

I guess I'm going to have to keep my hands in my pockets until I can come up with a new way to greet people.  The handshake seems so antiquated, as does the fist-bump. The Bible talks about greeting one another with a kiss, but I'm pretty sure that's not happening.

For now, I guess there's only one thing to do: eat some ice cream and go to bed. The Lil Missus has a new pillow and I can't wait to dig my hand under it!