Family Dinner: It's Not About the Food

Sitting around the dinner table with your family may seem impossible with the varying schedules and varying tastes or ages of your kids, but if you don't give it a try, you're missing out on something very important--a chance to connect.

Here are five benefits and things to try when gathering your family around the table over mac 'n' cheese or a five-course steak dinner:

• Talk to each other. Listen and learn about each other's days. You'll be able to be in tune with your kids, pick up on things that may be troubling them and celebrate their successes as a family. Try it out: Give each person at the table a turn to share a story from their day.
• Follow the eater. Your little toddlers will learn how to hold a spoon by watching those around them. If you always feed your toddlers early and send them off to bed before the rest of the family eats, they'll never get a chance to absorb the how-tos of eating. Your younger ones can also learn table manners and how to listen respectfully to each other by watching you. Try it out: Be mindful of your own table manners, clean your plate and make sure you say please and thank you.
• Go unplugged. When it's time to eat, it's time to give those at the table your undivided attention, and that means you need to unplug. No computers or cell phones should be at or near your table. Try it out: Put your cell phones on vibrate or turn them off and put them in a basket in another room before the meal starts.
• Cook and share in new foods. Make meal nights a chance to involve everyone in the preparation, too. If your children get to make the salads (aka dumping lettuce from the bag into bowls), that counts. It will get them engaged in the experience from the start. If they help create a new recipe, they will be more likely to try it, too. Try it out: Let your children choose a night to help with dinner or give them a choice of tasks that they can help out with, such as setting the table or getting out the ingredients for you.
• Set expectations. Set an understanding that family mealtime is not negotiable. Yes, your teen will want to skip out and eat pizza on the couch every once in a while, and your preschooler might rather walk around eating crackers instead. But if you don't budge from the expectation of having everyone around the table together, you'll nip the whining and special requests. Try it out: Decide on the nights you'll be eating together, and get it on everyone's radar early in the week. Remind them that day so there are no surprises.

To get started, set a night or two this week that will be family dinner nights. Get in a pattern of serving dinner at 6 p.m. every Monday and Thursday night, for example. Build on it, and add more nights if you can. When planning out the meals, set yourself up for success by having easy meals (pasta and salad or a premade dish from the oven or Crock-Pot, or even something you pick up). This will enable you to be on time, and once you sit down, you can focus on the conversation at hand.

It's not about the food you make, as much as the relationships you're nurturing. Give it a try! I guarantee you won't be disappointed.